monstrousregiment: (Default)
[personal profile] monstrousregiment
Title: Brief Lives (10/?)

Author: monstrousreg

Word count:  2401

Warnings:  POSSIBLY TRIGGERING. Mentions of domestic and sexual abuse. Violence. Read with care.  

Pairing: Erik/Charles.

Summary:

Erik thinks he's going to seduce, interrogate and murder some nondescript CIA intelligence agent, and winds up biting more than
he can chew. Charles is not keen on being murdered, he doesn't favor interrogations, and he's certainly not willing to be seduced. That he's not cooperating is midly put.   


Notes:  Unbetaed, and stuff. Guys, sorry it took me so unforgivably long to update this thing, I didn't have a chance on Saturday after all and I don't have internet in my new apartment yet. It's dirving me insane. I'm at a Starbucks right now. I'll try to update on Monday or Tuesday.
Fucking Lj is fucking with my format again, I'm going to have to fix it by hand. YOU GUYS MUST KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU otherwise I wouldn't bother.










Erik finds Charles in the study. He leans his shoulder against the doorframe and asks, “How do you want to do this?”



Charles gives him a sideways look.



“Are you going to ask me if I wrote a will?” Erik asks, amused.



Charles snorts inelegantly. “You don’t own anything.”



Erik shrugs. “Some clothes, a gun.”



“A coin,” Charles says, eyes flicking down toErik’s right pocket.



Erik levels him with a look. “One that goes to ground with its original owner.”



Charles pulls a face. “I’m not a metal-bender. How am I supposed to kill someone with a silver coin?”



“Not my problem. If you have to figure that out, I’ll be dead.”



“Precisely. You’ll be dead—you’ll never know whether I used the coin.”



“I’ll know,” Erik replies, coming fully into the study. “So, what happens now?”



Charles rubs his forehead tiredly. “I’m fatigued—it’s best we do it tonight, while I’m off center.” He sighs. “In any case, there would be no point in delaying it. Were you to make it through this miraculously unharmed, you will need some time to adapt.”



“Your faith fills me with courage,” Erik says dryly.



“I could make you think I believe it’ll be fine,” Charles quirks his mouth in an almost-smile. “But once we’re in the middle of it, you’ll know it was a lie.”



“It wouldn’t be the first time you’d lie to me,” Erik says lightly, coming closer.



Charles blinks. Then, “Oh. Raven. No, I suppose not.”



“Why didn’t you tell me?”



“You didn’t need to know, and I didn’t trust you then. I was testing the grounds, seeing how you reacted to things. I didn’t want to give you information you might learn to use against me.”



“I can use anything against you,” Erik said quietly, stepping even closer, dangerously close to breaching Charles’ precious personal space. Charles stood his ground, and Erik knew he wasn’t going to back out this time. “How close you’ve let me get, Charles. Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that I might yet betray you?”



“The only thing you want more than me right now is Shaw’s death,” the telepath replied calmly. “That works out for me, it turns out, as the only thing I want more than his death right now is you. We make a pair, and not an unlikely one.”



Erik hums thoughtfully, reaches forward to tuck a stray lock of dark hair behind Charles’ hair, daring to brush his fingers over the delicate shell. Charles shivers but doesn’t flinch. Erik waits, but there’s no immediate pain. Perhaps the touch has been too innocent and brief. Perhaps Charles is too tired to retaliate, or has no intention of doing so.



“How should I do this?” Erik asks softly. 



Charles closes his eyes. “Take your shirt off. The more skin we touch, the better. I’ll sink right into you. It’ll be painful—for both of us. I’ll probably struggle. You’re stronger than me physically, so you’ll have to wrestle me down. I don’t know if I’ll have a mind to restrain myself, so you’ll have to focus on your body, try to keep us together, while I try to…”



He trailed off, shaking his head.



“While I try to keep us both sane, I suppose. It should be—your mind, Erik, is a very strict place. But mine is fractured and compromised of jagged edges and broken shards. I’ll need to fit my mind around your angles and organize it according to your thought patterns, but I won’t be able to make it quickly enough that it’ll be a seamless transition for you. You’ll get lost in me first, and then I’ll try to revert the process. In the beginning, expect to blur into me, like we are the same person, two halves put back together.”



Erik reaches back and pulls his sweatshirt over his head, together with his t-shirt. Charles, more hesitant than him when it comes to nudity but thoroughly determined to do this, shrugs out of his sweater and gets to work on the buttons of his shirt.



“You’ll want to take off the gloves,” Erik says lightly, eyes dancing over Charles’ lean form as the shirt parts open. There is no denying Charles is exquisite.



Erik drags his eyes up with some effort only to find that Charles is blushing.



“You heard that, then?” Erik asks, rueful.



Exquisite,” Charles mumbles mockingly.



“You don’t take well to compliments, hm?”



“Not ones that imply I am effeminate.”



Erik laughs, and then stops short when Charles shrugs out of his shirt completely to reveal pale, square shoulders and a tones
chest that tapers down to trim hips. This is the first time Erik has seen Charles’ bare chest without the impediment of a bandage, so it’s also the first time he sees the stark black letters of the tattoo. His throat goes dry.



“Oh,” Charles stops.



“You said he never hurt you,” Erik rasps.



“I said he never hit me,” Charles corrects coolly. “And in any case, it didn’t hurt, because he did it while I was drugged
and unconscious.”



It’s a seal, a neat black line encircling the initials S.S., and it’s been tattooed right in the center of Charles’ upper abdominal muscles, directly below the body of the ribs, under the tail of the Xiphoid process. Erik hates it with a sudden, burning passion that boils like acid in the pit of his stomach and creeps up his veins, clawing up his throat like warm bile.



Charles calmly, methodically, unclasps and removes his leather gloves, as if using the action to ensure he avoids meeting
Erik’s eyes.



“It’s of no consequence,” he says faintly. “And you are the first person to ever set eyes on it anyway—besides Raven, that is, who actually saw it done. She told me little of the process.”



Erik swallows convulsively.



Charles consciously relaxes his shoulders, fingertips skimming absently over the ink of the seal, before he forces himself
to relax his arms as well, loosening his muscles.



“As I said, I will probably struggle, so—“



“Charles,” Erik interrupts, reaching out his right hand. “Stop stalling. I think we’re both ready.”



Charles smiles crookedly. “I don’t. Let’s find out.”



He collides with Erik’s larger frame with a violence that implies if he didn’t give himself the momentum, he would never have been able to do it. Erik’s has a fraction of a second to form a vice around his back with his arms and think about how smooth his skin is before
everything tilts and smashes into a storm of mindless, soundless, incomprehensible agony.



At first everything whites out. Maybe he screams. Distantly he can tell Charles is physically struggling, but he was right—Erik is much stronger, he’ll not be able to free himself unless he uses a cleverly thought technique, something that is currently well out of his reach. Maybe it’s Charles that screams.



Yes—Charles definitely screams. He screams and then he whimpers. Or not—he’s not whimpering now. But he whimpers when Kurt
Marko hits him the first time, a close fist across a child’s chubby cheek. He whimpers helplessly in terror as the German soldiers storm their house above the nook in the floor where they are hiding—no. Wait.



Yes. He reaches his hands and the gates bend down, eager to please his demands. He’s thirteen and Shaw looks at him with his
cool blue eyes and asks The girl? And Kurt answers I don’t know if she has any powers, but the boy, the boy’s the one you really want. Shaw says Yes and then he says I will count to three, and you will move this coin.



His mother dies when he turns ten, in a drunken car accident, and she dies when he turns thirteen, in a dim room in a concentration camp. His father died when he was too young to remember him and was buried in the family crypt, and he died in a concentration camp and lies
somewhere beneath the dirt in an unmarked, mass grave, but he knows where his mother is buried because he dug the grave himself.



He can feel the pain of broken nails digging out dirt, and his mother on the ground beside him but she’s not—because he never saw her body, Kurt identified it at the morgue.



He’s sixteen the first time Shaw takes him, and he makes him bleed. That night Raven curls around him in the bed and cries and cries and cries, but his eyes are dry as the desert, as dry as when he drug his mother’s grave, as dry as when he plunged a knife through the guard by the door and escaped, finally finally finally free, out into the night never to be seen again until he was a man and he wanted revenge, until he was a man and had built a safe haven for children that needed him.



He has a seal in his chest and keeps a coin in his pocket and everything inside him wants Shaw dead, with a startling ferocity like the enraged outburst of a dying star, with enough heat to consume the world.



He turns seventeen and he is free. He turns eighteen and for his birthday Shaw drugs him and when he wakes his chest burns and Raven is rubbing soothing ointment into his reddened skin, dark ink beneath her fingers, and his eyes are dry as the desert.



He’s nineteen and he’s killed the man that told the German soldiers that they were Jews. He’s nineteen and Azazel is Shaw’s newest fascination, a man grown, in perfect control of his powers. Azazel likes Raven, and he’s kind enough with both her and her brother. Azazel is afraid of  him, in a way he is too intelligent to attempt to hide.



He lives with Azazel for a year. He meets Azazel only once, when they run into each other hunting down a Nazi agent and the mutant escapes him before he can kill him.



He goes to Argentina, to the picturesque little mountain-top town of San Martin de los Andes. He’s never been to South America
below Brazil.



He’s twenty years old and in Shaw’s bed, and he’s bleeding again. A puff of red smoke and Azazel grabs his wrist, a puff of red smoke and they’re in a hospital, a puff of red smoke and Azazel is gone, and he never sees him again. He doesn’t see Raven for a week, when she comes find him in the hospital and she says I’m saying with him until you kill him, we need to keep a track of his movements.



He goes to the FBI and tells them what he is, what Shaw is and what he plans to do, doesn’t tell them what he’s done to him. He thinks Moira is nice enough she quickly falls for him but he ignores it. He doesn’t bother deleting the feeling because if she likes him, she’ll keep him safe.



He finds Nazi gold, forged from the spoils stolen from his people, he tries to sell it to a banker, he gets his information and leaves. A year later he decides he’s not all that magnanimous, comes back and kills him in his bed.



He goes to Oxford and he goes to Munich, simultaneously as the timelines begin to overlap. He’s studying genetics in Oxford and he’s on a plane en route to Russia. He’s in Venice enjoying the sun and he’s in the gardens outside Xavier Hall, watching a car go up in flames and
hearing the screams of a man trapped inside, and his eyes are dry as the desert. His hand aches a little where Raven clutches at him.



He’s in Argentina again, in Villa Gesell drinking beer and killing his tormentors and he’s in a seedy little student bar in Oxford getting drunk because he’s achieved his PhD in a record time of three years. He’s twenty even, he’s twenty three.



He’s in Oxford, he’s in Oxford. He’s looking for a CIA agent, he knows there’s someone looking for him here in this bar and oh—his mother, she was murdered—Shaw, Shaw again, always Shaw.



He loses track, everything blurs and distorts, a kaleidoscope of images and sounds and smells he’s seen, heard and smelt and has never seen, never heard, never smelt.



Things begin, slowly, to fall into place. A voice says yes—it’s been like this all along. But he says no, it’s like this—the gates bend over, eager to do as he commands them. Shaw says, I’ll count to three. He digs his mother’s grave. He’s seventeen and he’s free.  He’s nineteen and he’s killed the man that told the German soldiers that they were Jews. He’s been to San Martin de Los Andes and Villa Gesell.



The rest is not his. 



His name is Erik. He is not Charles Xavier.



Yes. That makes sense.



He awakens, slowly, gradually, and begins once again to feel his body. He blinks blearily down, realizes he’s on the floor, sprawled half over another limp body. On shaky arms he pushes himself up, remembering.



Charles is on his side, having somehow in the struggle managed to put his back to Erik’s chest. He’s limp as a dead man, and when Erik grabs his shoulder and turns him on his back his eyes are half-open but empty. Erik feels a tendril of horror and then is calm, feels reassured. Oh. Charles has momentarily shut down, but the damage is not permanent. He’s simply—regrouping, you could say.



Erik glances down at his arms. He’s covered in scratches. The skin’s been broken in some places. He looks briefly down—yes, there’s some blood on Charles’ fingers. Erik leaves him on the floor and goes to the ensuite bathroom to wash his arms and hands, white at his face streaked with tears. Then he comes back, gathers Charles’ body into his arms and takes him to the bed. Charles’ eyes are open and vacant, lashes heavy. Erik brushes the tears in his cheeks tenderly away, but they keep coming, soaking into the cloth of the pillow.



There is much skin to touch and explore, but all Erik wants to do is sleep.



He nearly sleepwalks four floors down to his bedroom, collapses into the bed and knows no more.






Date: 2011-08-25 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nausicaa83.livejournal.com
Wow... just wow. The way you wrote how their minds fused together, I think I literally stopped breathing while reading it. Amazing.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was scared it would be underwhelming after everything that's happened.

Date: 2011-08-25 03:56 pm (UTC)
ext_27141: (X Men ErikCharles)
From: [identity profile] telperion-15.livejournal.com
That was an amazing weaving together of Erik and Charles' minds and memories :D

Date: 2011-08-27 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you! <3

Date: 2011-08-25 04:08 pm (UTC)
avictoriangirl: (erik/charles rule the world)
From: [personal profile] avictoriangirl
I can only echo everyone else's comment. Simply brilliant, can't wait for more!

Date: 2011-08-27 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-08-25 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seranita.livejournal.com
This was really intense. And quite an appropriate climax for all the tension that has been building between them. I am curious to see if and how this will have affected their relationship.

As always, I am looking forward to reading more. And don't worry about RL being a bitch, we've all been there at some point. ;D

Date: 2011-08-27 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Ugh, I know, I'm glad to have a new apartment, but I wished things had just turned out the way they should and my life was easy, lol.

I;m glad you liked the chapter. As I was just telling a commenter above I was really scared to make this chapter sub-par and underwhelming. That would have been truly awful.

Date: 2011-08-25 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassopeia.livejournal.com
Wow that was really intense!

Date: 2011-08-27 04:21 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-08-25 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] singingduck2.livejournal.com
Wonderful, amazing chapter!!! This was really an intense situation.

Did you ever mention before that Raven had stayed with Shaw after she freed Charles? I can't remembr right now.

Again, great chapter, and I can't wait to see more!

(I'll be gone for the most part of next week, so my next review will be a bit late...)

Date: 2011-08-27 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter!

No, I never did--in fact Charles lied to Erik that morning in the kitchen when they were about to leave for Paris. He said she was with the CIA full-time.

No worries, I've been late myself so I'll be as patient as you've been <3

Date: 2011-08-25 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] efcia.livejournal.com
The intensity of this chapter is almost overwhelming, but in the best possible way. The way you wrote Erik's and Charles's memories, entwining, overlaping, some of them strangely alike, another complitely different... I think, it could turn better than that. Amazing.
Seems this time I'm all praises, but really this chapter is worth every single of them. Great, great job!
Hope you'll be able to update soon, I really want to see how Charles will behave after what happened.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! This was one of the first scenes I saw in my mind, when I started thinking out this story.

The only problem I have when you deal out so much praise is that I'm sure the next chapter is certain to disappoint you, every time. Here's to hoping I manage to stay on track this time.

Date: 2011-08-25 09:44 pm (UTC)
ext_377126: For those of you who don't know what this refers to...be glad. (Default)
From: [identity profile] blackrosefire11.livejournal.com
Ugh this is perfect. I've been waiting for this all week. I cannot wait to see how Charles is when he comes to. Bravo.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you! Now I hope I won't disappoint with the next chapter XD

Date: 2011-08-25 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darine3007.livejournal.com
This chapter is so intense O_O
Amazing , cant wait for more <3333

Date: 2011-08-27 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much <3

Date: 2011-08-25 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] judi42.livejournal.com
¡Magnífico capítulo!

Me ha gustado como sus historias de vida se han ido entrelazando de forma tan onírica sin saber donde comienza una y termina la otra, hasta que Erik se afirma de sí mismo y recuerda que él es Erik y no Charles.

Ahora se han abierto tantas puertas en su relación, aunque algo me dice que vendrá mucha angst ;_;

LJ ha sido una bitch últimamente, el otro día no cargaba profiles y su nuevo estilo de texto enriquecido no me gusto mucho.

PD: Te he agregado como friend :)

Date: 2011-08-27 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Jaja se, angst is coming. Sort of like winter.

Esta fue una de las primeras escenas que me imagine cuando estaba pensando esta historia sentada en el tren camino al trabajo. Lo que mas me interesaba era que fuera Erik el que se reafirmaba como individuo donde Charles estaba completamente perdido.

Si, no se que le pasa a LJ, estas mejoras que le hacen muchas veces son mas para pero que otra cosa. Espero que se arregle en breve, porque me complica la vida!

No necesitas pedirme permiso para ser friend, tengo un diario abierto :) Mas que bienvenida!

Date: 2011-08-26 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nathcoelho.livejournal.com
omg! that was so incredible intense!amazing chapter!!!
awesome how you put it the scene, the mix between himself and charles!!
waw!
really great!
looking forward for more!

Date: 2011-08-27 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I have to say I'm happy how this chapter turned out. I delivered everything I wanted to, so I'm glad I managed to do that.

I'll update soon, promise!

Date: 2011-08-26 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsthewa.livejournal.com
That was amazing.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you <3

Date: 2011-08-26 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shaishda.livejournal.com
...What a mind meld. What a mesh, that was intense. I don't think I can get myself to say much more than that. It was just..all so intense.

Date: 2011-08-26 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tylanir.livejournal.com
Me gustó mucho este capítulo, fue muy original :)

Espero con ansias el próximo cap!

pd: no escribes en español también?

Date: 2011-08-27 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Muchas gracias! Ya ahora en cuanto termine de responder subo el prox capitulo.

No, no escribo en español. Me gustaria hacerlo, pero me resulta mucho mas fluido hacerlo en ingles :(

Date: 2011-08-26 05:33 pm (UTC)
ender24: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ender24
this was breathtakingly intense, just god i feel like i literally stopped breathing while running through together with them through both their horrible past!

Date: 2011-08-27 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
I'm glad I didn't disappoint <3

Date: 2011-08-27 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vous-et-moi.livejournal.com
That was amazing, I've forgotten what breathing feels like. Just absolutely amazing.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much <3

Date: 2011-08-27 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bemblebee.livejournal.com
Beautiful, brilliant, loved it.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Thank you so much <3

Date: 2011-08-27 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crimsoncrow.livejournal.com
....You'll have to excuse me. For once I'm entirely speechless. Beautiful and amazing and a lot of feelings.

Date: 2011-08-27 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monstrousreg.livejournal.com
Wow, I've rendered you speechless. Here *hands pint of beer* let's at least drink together.

Thank you so much <3

PS:I love your userpic.

Date: 2011-10-11 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanna-be-happy1.livejournal.com
I cannot tell you my horror when I got to the end of this chapter and didn't see a "chapter 11" link. Luckily, a quick perusal of your journal remedied that problem. Looking forward to reading more. Great story!

Date: 2011-12-24 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mslanna.livejournal.com
Well, that wasn't as bad as I expected. *phew*
Both still alive, probably sane and maybe a bit close to each other.

Profile

monstrousregiment: (Default)
monstrousregiment

December 2011

S M T W T F S
    12 3
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 22nd, 2017 08:41 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios